Let’s talk a little bit about ourselves here. What I have learned over the past 64 years is astonishing! Of course it’s been only the past 26 years or so, that I have really learned from my mistakes, and actually tried to change the error of my way. I’m talking about what we allow to come out of our mouth. Let me ask you a question before we get into this matter too deeply. Have you ever felt bad because of what someone said to you or about you? OH YES, haven’t we all. Let’s talk about the subject, what we say!

Have you ever looked back on your day and wondered what impact you had on people you came in contact with? When you said something to someone, how did they feel after you were through? Was there a smile on their face? Were they uplifted? If they were having a bad day, was their day going to turn around and improve? If they had a frown on their face, was it turned into a smile?

What happens to words that we speak? I used to work with a lady, and when I got a trouble call for the equipment she worked on, I used to prepare myself for some fun because she used to give me a very hard time. Because of that I got used to giving her a hard time back. I began to think about how I really felt when she did this to me, and I knew it sometimes ruined a perfectly good day. Then it hit me, what did she feel like after I gave her a hard time. I can tell you, if she was having a bad day, after I left her booth, she was still having a bad day, and probably even a worse one. I talked to her about it, and apologized to her, and even though she continued to give me hard times, things eventually got much better.

Ok, I know you are wondering what this has to do with our marriages, so let me tell you, the things we say to our wives can really affect our relationships. I’ve come to believe that if we can’t say anything good, we shouldn’t say anything at all. That doesn’t mean you don’t have to talk, YOU MUST have COMMUNICATION in your marriage. Here is an example of what I am talking about, (a personal one, so I know by experience). We come home from work and sit down to a wonderful meal that our wife has been preparing for us for hours. She has worked around the house, maybe even had a bad day or a lot of distractions, ( kids, phone). In doing this she burned the buns in the oven, but she puts them out anyway. She dishes up and sets everything in place. Here I come and sit down, and see the burnt buns, and the first words out of my mouth are, “HONEY YOU BURNT THE BUNS!” How do you think she feels now? Do you think she didn’t know she burnt the buns? Have you made her day better or have you just made it worse!

Ok, lets think about the right way to do this. Suppose I sit down and eat, and butter the burnt buns and eat them anyway, burnt bottom and all. After the meal, I thank her for a delicious dinner, along with a big hug and kiss for all the hard work, ( and don’t even mention the burnt buns). Now how do you suppose she feels? See how what we say can make such a difference.

These are only a couple examples of what happens when we speak, the choice is up to us as to what comes out of our mouth. Just remember your words can encourage, or they can discourage! They can bring a smile to her face, or they can make her frown! They can make her laugh or they can make her cry! Always look at the positive things and overlook the negative things, and you will find much more joy in your marriage. Remember the saying, “If mama’s happy then everybody’s happy!